Saturday, November 28, 2009
Solution!
I did a lot of research about why we were having problems in the sex department, and I think we have a solution. It turns out that I have vaginismus, and I went to http://www.vaginismus.com for answers. I bought their kit, and have been slowly working through it. Hope is in sight!
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Sad
I'm sad.
I'm sad because my husband of eight months won't have sex with me.
I'm sad because the flat is a mess of piles of his things that I can't go through and organize, so they remain, and he does nothing about them.
He did keep me company while I washed dishes this afternoon, and he started work on rearranging the kitchen cupboards so they are more organzized and I can reach the stuff I need to without knocking over other stuff.
He says things have to be done slowly, because of his fibro and his energy levels and his pain, but what about my pain and energy levels? I live with it the same way he does and I get things done. I'm happy when he does the chores I can't do, but I am sick of living in this mess.
I am taking anti-anxiety medications to deal with the panic attacks that this all causes. He's afraid I'm going to tunr into my mother - a Valium addict. I assure him that I won't. He says me being upset drains his energy levels and the pills are the only way I can see to cpmbat that. We are on a waiting list for marriage counseling. Emails from his mother do not help because she has no understanding of chronic illness and chronic pain.
I'm less sad for writing this down.
I'm sad because my husband of eight months won't have sex with me.
I'm sad because the flat is a mess of piles of his things that I can't go through and organize, so they remain, and he does nothing about them.
He did keep me company while I washed dishes this afternoon, and he started work on rearranging the kitchen cupboards so they are more organzized and I can reach the stuff I need to without knocking over other stuff.
He says things have to be done slowly, because of his fibro and his energy levels and his pain, but what about my pain and energy levels? I live with it the same way he does and I get things done. I'm happy when he does the chores I can't do, but I am sick of living in this mess.
I am taking anti-anxiety medications to deal with the panic attacks that this all causes. He's afraid I'm going to tunr into my mother - a Valium addict. I assure him that I won't. He says me being upset drains his energy levels and the pills are the only way I can see to cpmbat that. We are on a waiting list for marriage counseling. Emails from his mother do not help because she has no understanding of chronic illness and chronic pain.
I'm less sad for writing this down.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Sunday, July 26, 2009
The Washing of Dishes
Nobody likes to do this, right? The dishes pile up, day after day, a malevolent volcano growing to explosion on the kitchen counter...wait! I'm scaring myself.
So, after reading a few blogs like Simple Mom and Steady Mom, I figured this out. Doing a chore actually gives me a sense of accomplishment! I feel better after it's done, even though I don't like thinking about having to do it. I don't mind the actual doing of it once I get started.
I'd still like to have a house or flat someday with a dishwasher.
So, after reading a few blogs like Simple Mom and Steady Mom, I figured this out. Doing a chore actually gives me a sense of accomplishment! I feel better after it's done, even though I don't like thinking about having to do it. I don't mind the actual doing of it once I get started.
I'd still like to have a house or flat someday with a dishwasher.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
It just keeps going...
Here we go again - frustration as a daily event. It feels like I do all the work around here, but I knw that's only partly true. I do tend to over-analyze things, and it drives me nuts. I figured if I blurted it out in a blog, it would at least get out of my head and stop circling around like a bunch of vultures. Sigh.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
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